How & Why!
by Jiggly Wess
Summary: The aftermath of the bomb blast. Jo survived...but how? and why has she run away? a story told in diff POV's. UPDATED & CHANGED!
1. Jo & Susie POV

Title: How and Why? (Crappy I know)

Summary: Well I somehow managed to just write this fic after hearing a song on the radio. It's different points of view of the station being blown up. And Jo is still alive! (You'll find out how later. And this is just a fic so please don't get mad at me!)

Jo!

I sat in the corner of the bus thinking. I knew I shouldn't have just ran off like that but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't stay there and let my heart get broken any more. Every time I looked at his face I felt the pain. I guess I saw the bomb as a way out. I mean faking my own death is a little extreme but it was the only thing I could do to get away.

I can't imagine how they all must be feeling. Especially Clancy's wife. I told him to stay away. I told him to get out. But he wanted to be a hero. Clancy was my hero. It was because of him that I was free. I remember that day so well. Ben had told me to stay back whilst the others went to see the Baxter's. I was on watch-house duty after all.

It happened so suddenly. When Clancy brought the bag in I knew what it was. I knew it was a bomb. I didn't want Clancy to open it. But then again I did because I knew I would be free. So I did it. I let him open the bag. And now I feel so guilty. I used him and now he was dead. He was just trying to help me and I hurt him.

I didn't mean for it to happen. None of this was supposed to happen. But it did and now I guess I have to deal with the consequences.

Susie!

Everything was gone. My home was gone, the station was gone and worst of all Jo was gone. They found two lots of human remains when they searched the remnants of the station. One of which belonged to Clancy and the others...that was Jo. all that was left of her was charred bones.

If only she had gotten her transfer. Then this wouldn't have happened. She wasn't even supposed to be working. She was supposed to have been given time off to sort herself out. I didn't even get time to talk to her about how she was feeling. I can't imagine the pain she must have died in. she was a great person. She didn't deserve this. Nobody did.

I may not have known her for as long as everyone else had but she was still a very close friend. She helped me through the pain when Brad died, she was there for me when I needed someone to talk to, and she was even helping me get together with Jonesy.

She was the greatest woman I had ever known. She was strong, courageous and she was always willing to lend a hand. And now no one would ever get her help again. This place is never going to be the same again. Not without Jo, not with a new station. I wont be able to get used to not having Jo there to talk to. Now I've got no one. I can't go to Jonesy because...well he's a guy. And Amy the new girl...well it just doesn't seem right.

The bomb has affected everyone. Ben's blaming himself, Jonesy's started taking his anger out on everything he can find, PJ's always sulking in his office and Tom...well I've never seen him this way before. And by the reaction of everyone else I don't think they have either. He's been most affected by this whole situation. He lost his station, he lost Jo who was like a daughter to him and now Grace has gone missing.

Everything's gone wrong. I wish Jo were here. Then maybe she'd be able to sort things out. If she were here maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely...


	2. Ben & Jonesy POV

Evan!

How could this have happened? How? Everything has gone down. Life is just not the same. I can't even express how I feel because I don't know exactly how I feel. Everything has just gone down hill since the explosion. Everyone has gone crazy.

Tom's gone mad. He's got a hell of a temper, which doesn't surprise me seeing as he just lost his wife. But we lost something too. We lost our beautiful, loving, caring Jo. As well as our station. I don't think Tom realises that he wasn't the only one that has suffered. All of us have. And on top of everything that's happened I just had to walk in on Susie and Ben with their lips locked together.

What I don't get is why the hell Amy didn't tell me what was going on. That and the fact that Susie was supposedly 'in love' with me. Yeah right. I wish Jo would come back. Maybe then we wouldn't be in this mess.

This is all Ben's fault. He was the one that made her stay at the station. He wouldn't let her leave. If he had just let her help for once instead of treating her like...oh what's the point. It's not like anyone's ever going to listen to me anyway. They're all too busy worrying about PJ and how he's feeling, or worrying about the way Tom's acting. Or too busy making out in the mess room!!!

I don't know whether I should cry or whether I should just hold it all in. no matter how hard I try I cant seem to let my emotions out. I try but all it comes out as is anger. Anger towards Ben, anger towards the Baxter's and worse, anger towards myself for not being there for Jo when she needed me.

I knew she and PJ were going through a tough time and she had put in for a transfer and I was too busy trying to find a way to get to Susie. Big waste of time that was seeing as she doesn't even want me anymore. If Jo were here she'd know what to do. She'd help me sort this mess out. She was always like that Jo. Putting others before her. I think that's what I'm going to miss most about her. It's just not going to be the same without her around.

Ben

It's all my fault. I should have let her leave. I shouldn't have tried to push her where she didn't want to go. I should have listened to her. She's dead because of me. Me and my stupid arrogant...Jo I wish you were here. I should have concentrated on trying to make you happy instead of trying to get you and PJ back together.

I still cant believe that he called her 'Mags' in front of everyone in the station. I can't even start to think how she felt at that moment. All I know is I saw the pain she was in. I saw the pain in her eyes every time she saw PJ walk into the room. I miss her so much. She had always been there for us whenever we needed her. And when she needed me the most I had been too blind to see it.

I remember when she first moved in. Neither PJ nor I had invited her but she did it anyway. She moved in and there was nothing either of us could do to stop her. But I'm glad she did that though. It was great having her stay with us. I mean sure she could be a little irritating at times and she did seem to get on my nerves a lot, but she still managed to fill the hole that was left in our home. She made it feel complete.

I miss everything about her, I miss the sarcastic comments, I miss her attitude but most of all I miss her friendship. She had always been there for me when I needed her. She had helped me with so many problems I had. I remember my drinking problem. She was very persistent and tried as hard as she could to get me to quit. And eventually she got through to me. I stopped drinking. I don't know if that ever would have happened if Jo hadn't been there for me. She kept telling me 'the answer to your problems doesn't lie in the bottom of a bottle' and she was right.

She was always right. No matter how hard we tried to convince her otherwise she always stuck to her guns. She always came out on top no matter what it took. She had a gut instinct that on more occasions than one had led her to trouble however it had also helped us to clear several innocent people. I guess that's what made her a good cop. She always had something to prove and she was never going to stop until she proved it. Especially if it meant saving an innocent person from jail or worse.

That's another thing I loved about her. She always put others before herself. I remember countless times she was willing to put her life and her career on the line just to prove someone's innocence. I'm really going to miss having her around. I'm also beginning to miss our old station.

The new place we're in seems more like a warehouse than a police station. Then we've got those new members. Kelly and Joss aren't too bad I guess but they're always getting on the way. I just wish things could go back to how they used to be.

What happened to us?  
We used to be so perfect, now we're lost and lonely.  
What happened to us?  
And deep inside I wonder did I lose my only?


	3. PJ & Jo POV

PJ! 

This just isn't right. I don't believe it. She can't be gone. Not my Joey. First Maggie was taken away and now Jo. Maybe I'm cursed. Maybe I did something wrong in a past life and I am being punished for it now. I don't know. All I know is it just isn't fair. Why can't I be given a chance? Why does everything always end up badly for me?

When Maggie died I never thought I was ever going to love again. Then Jo came along and she proved me wrong. She opened up my heart and taught me to love once again. She made me happier than I had ever been since Maggie died. We were going to get married. We had even talked about having kids. Then I had to ruin it all by letting the past come back to haunt me.

I should have just left it alone. If I hadn't perused the issue then none of this would ever have been brought up and Jo would still be alive. Then we could be happy together. I lost her. She's gone and she's never coming back. I can't believe it. I want to believe it because I know if I face the truth and accept the facts then the pain wont be as bad. If only it were that easy. I just can't forget everything we've been through together.

I remember every little thing about her. The way she laughed, the way she kept her feelings inside so everyone thought she was tough and the way she called my name when we made love. I miss her smell, her touch I miss everything about her. I just want her back so much.

But wishing is never going to do any good. I have to get out there. I have to take action. I have to get my revenge. Barry Baxter is going down. He's the one that did this to us. He's the one that made us lose our station, our Clancy and worst of all…my Joey. If it weren't for him then Jo would still be here with me sitting on my lap. Instead of being just a pile of ash.

There were two lots of remains found in the station after the fire went out. One we knew was Clancy. The other…well everyone just assumed it was Jo. I am just hoping so much that there is a chance she could still be alive. They are testing the remains for DNA. There is a chance the DNA wont match Jo's but I know that it's not going to happen.

I just wish there was some way that I could go back in time and change everything that happened. A way to stop what had happened. Then we'd still have the station and Clancy and we'd still have Jo.

Jo

I walked up the steps of the Apartment block. I knew nobody would be home this time of day so I let myself in. This was the only safe place I could think of to go to. Everybody thought I was dead so this was the most logical place to go. The only other person that knew I would come here was Maggie, and she was dead so she couldn't very well tell anybody. The woman who lived in the apartment was an old friend of the family Jordan Gregory. We had lived next door to each other in Frankston and we went to the same school together.

Jordan was two years older than me but she was still one of the best friends I had ever had. When we were growing up we did everything together and spent most of our spare time together. Jordan moved to Queensland when her mother and father split up and ever since then we've been writing, calling and visiting each other as much as our work would let us.

I dumped my bag-not that there was much in it-next to the couch then I made myself comfy. I figured that when she got home she would need an explanation so I started running ideas through my head. In the end I realised just telling the truth would be the smartest and easiest thing. I had told enough lies in the past few days than I had ever done in my life and I knew that if I lied to her, it would come back and bite me in the arse. So the truth was the best way to go.

I hadn't slept properly in three days and I was getting rather tired, so I decided to get some sleep. I knew Jordan would be at work until later tonight because she always worked the night shift. So I laid down on the couch and made myself comfortable, then eventually drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke I could hear a key in the front door and I sat up as the latch clicked open. I took a few deep breaths and waited for the door to open. I just hoped like hell that she was still living here and I wasn't sitting in some strangers apartment.

"I thought I turned the light off." I heard a familiar voice cry.

"You did." I stood up and looked straight at her. She screamed and the next thing I knew I had a gun pointed at my head.

"Bloody hell Jordan!" I cried. "Put that thing down."

"Jo?" She looked at me, squinting her eyes. "Joanna Parrish? What the hell are you doing here so late at night?" She put her gun down and walked over to me.

"Hi." I smiled at her. "I had nowhere else to go."

"What's going on?" She looked confused. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"It was kind of a last minute decision." I replied.

"Well it's great to see you." She hugged me. The minute I was in her arms I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I had tried so hard not to cry since I left Mt Thomas but I couldn't help it now. the tears just started flowing, and once they started I couldn't stop them.

"Jo what's wrong?" She asked when she noticed I was crying.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"The beginning would help." She replied with a laugh.

"Then we'd better sit down." I laughed back.

"Did you want a tea, coffee anything?" she offered.

"Just another hug." I replied.

"Awww Jo." She hugged me again.

"Thanks." I replied and hugged her back, then the two of us sat down on the couch together.

"So tell me what brings you here at three o clock in the morning?"

"Well it's a long story."

"I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon." She smiled and put her arm around me.

So I sat and told her the whole story. I told her about my relationship with PJ, about how he proposed to me and then broke my heart. Then I told her about how hurt I was and I told her about the threats made against me, and then I told her about the bomb and what I had done.

"Oh Joey." She hugged me again. "It's alright sweetie. We'll get through this together, you and Me. Don't worry about anything I'll help you out." She smiled and gave me another hug.

At that moment I felt happy. For the first time since the incident on the balcony I felt happy. I knew no matter what I could always count on Jordan to help me through everything.


	4. Ben & PJ

Ben 

I watched him walk into his office a look of hope on his face. I could tell he was scared of what the results were going to be. We all knew what the results were going to be. There was just no other explanation. We just had to face the facts. Jo was gone and she wasn't coming back. Everyone had accepted that fact except for PJ. I feel sorry for him. He doesn't deserve the pain. I know Jo was close to everyone here at the station and her death affected all of us. But PJ was the worst. He loved her more than life itself and he was determined to prove that she was still alive. I just wish he would accept it and move on. That was the best thing for everyone. Especially him.

I had decided to keep him company because he refused to come home until he knew the results of the tests.

"Ben check this out." He called from his office. The look on his face was confusing. I had never seen anything like it. Slowly I made my way towards his office and closed the door behind me.

"What?"

"Look." He thrust a piece of paper into my hand. The piece of paper that obviously contained the results of the DNA testing.

"This cant be right." I noticed that the results were nothing like we had expected.

"I told you." He cried, "I told you she wasn't dead!" He smiled enthusiastically.

"There's got to be some mistake." I re-read the sheet.

"There isn't Ben. Read it. DNA doesn't lie." For once he was actually right. The DNA from the remains definitely didn't match Jo's DNA. I didn't want to believe it. I know this sounds bad but I wish the DNA did match. Then things would be far less complicated. I didn't want to think about ti any more.

"Do they know who the DNA matches? If it isn't Jo then we should at least find out who it is so we can notify the family." I changed the subject.

"Well they're passing the results through the police data base now. If there's a match then they'll find it."

"The remains could belong to anyone." I told him.

"Anyone but Jo!" he smiled. "I have to find her. She's out there somewhere and I am going to find her." He started to head towards the door but I grabbed his arm.

"PJ don't!" I cried. "Just leave it. There is obviously a reason she doesn't want to be found."

"She's out there Ben. All alone. I have to find her. What if she's in some hospital somewhere and nobody knows who she is." He looked at me. I could tell by the look in his eyes he wasn't going to give up. "I'm going to find her Ben. It's up to you whether you help me or not." With that he grabbed the paper and headed out of the office. The only thing I could think about was, if they weren't Jo's remains from the fire, then who did they belong to?

PJ 

I knew it. I knew she was still alive. I could feel her still. I could feel her heart beating with mine. I was going to find her. I didn't care how long it would take. There was no way I was giving up.

"I'll call the local hospitals and do a check. See if anyone was brought in with injuries consistent with the explosion." Ben told me. He was a great friend and I was glad he was helping me out. We were the only two who knew about the results. Everyone else was still under the belief that Jo was dead. But we had been proven wrong. The results were negative for Jo's DNA.

We still hadn't found out who the DNA actually belonged to but that wasn't my problem now. My focus was on finding Jo and nothing was going to stop me.

I knew that we had to tell Tom, but he was too preoccupied with Grace's disappearance. I was worried for him, like everyone else here, but I was also worried for Jo. If she wasn't dead then she had to be out there somewhere, probably on her own. It made me sick thinking about all the possible scenarios but that made me eve more determined to find out where she was.

I left the station knowing exactly where I was headed. Jeff and Bev's place. If they didn't know where Jo was then they'd sure as hell know someone who did.

When I arrived nobody answered the door the first time I rang the bell. So I stood there on the doorstep of their home ringing the doorbell and banging on the door. Eventually Jeff finally came to the door, dressed in a robe and looking very angry.

"PJ's what are you doing here at this hour?" He gave me a questioning look.

"I need to talk to you about Jo." He looked at me sincerely and grunted.

"What's there to say? She's dead."

"Well this proves otherwise." I held up the paper with the DNA results and handed it to Jeff.

"What's this?" He asked, still confused.

"The results for the DNA test they did on the remains." I gulped back tears. "They weren't Jo's remains, she is still alive."

"What are you on about?" I could tell he was hiding something. He knew that Jo was still alive.

"You knew didn't you. you knew she wasn't dead. Why are you hiding her from me?"

He sighed and closed his eyes.

"You'd better come in." He let me through the door and led me into the living room.

Well that's all I've got for now. there will be more soon. I hope you like the updates and changes. Reviews would be great thanks! Jess!


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